Have you ever had an obsession that, hard as you try, you can’t seem to shake?
Have you ever obsessed over something absolutely ridiculous? Something that is so tiny and unimportant you question your sanity?
I have.
And for me it comes in water bottle form.
Looks harmless, right?
Delicious? Thirst quenching? Refreshing, right?
Wrong.
This water bottle may be the bane of my existence.
About a month ago my friend Yumi and I were hanging out at my apartment and, being the thoughtful hostess that I am, I gave her some water. After a few minutes she said that she couldn’t get the lid of the bottle open. In my head I thought, ‘oh my goodness, what a precious little 84 pound Taiwanese girl- she can’t even open water bottles with her own strength’. In my arrogance I confidently grabbed the bottle and began to twist the lid off and immediately felt like my hand was being ripped apart.
Apparently perforation between the lid and the twisty part beneath it (I have no idea what it’s called) was never actually perforated.
Like I already mentioned, this happened over a month ago and since that time it has sat in my fridge where I take it out three times a week to see if I will be able to finally open it. I can’t seem to throw it away because:
1. Even though it probably only cost me 67 cents, it would be totally wasteful and I just can’t make myself do it.
2. If I throw it out then the water bottle wins.
I’ve tried everything I can think of to help me open the lid. I’ve used knives, scissors and prayer. And, with the exception of the prayer, all that’s changed is my mental stability.
I guess this post is just a blatant cry for help.
Do any of you own a chainsaw?
Hmmm. Do you want to actually drink the water? Because you could test out your new tires and smush it. Or maybe you could get a blow torch and just melt the lid off, but that plan has some serious risks. I'll make The Tough Marine read this later tonight and see what he suggests. :0)
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