I Kinda Sorta Used To Be A Big Deal...

Recently my best friend Chels told me that she was working with a boy who went to my alma mater- DBU. To which, my automatic response was:

"Did you tell him I used to be a big deal there?"

I realize this may seem incredibly pompous of me, but I promise I was joking. First of all, when you go to a small enough college- everyone is a big deal. The truth is that I wasn't a big deal, but my friends were. Because when your friends are all gorgeous and funny and outgoing, they're bound to be popular. And you are doomed to making a career out of meeting people 5 and 6 times before they recognize that they may have met you somewhere before.

My claim to fame in college was literally the fact that I was friends with my friends. I did some stuff was on some boards and in some groups and all that, but really I was friends with my friends. My first senior year I was named the Senior Duchess (because I'm classy that way), but that was ONLY because all of my friends were nominated and they split the vote amongst themselves with their popularity and gorgeousness. I swear that's the truth. Ask them.

Well, last weekend when I saw my peeps I mentioned this story to them. Unfortunately, I did not get the laughs I was hoping for. In fact, they all kind of stared at me like I had lost my mind.

Not only did I USED to be a big deal, I'm crazy. And maybe arrogant (I'll ask Jesus to work on that with me).

But, at least I have my former big deal-ness to keep me warm at night.

He May Be In This....

Do you ever doubt God?

I realize this question may be a bit deep for my blog. Especially since I recently wrote a post in praise of an oddly named ice cream. Which, by the way, I would like to clarify my earlier statement- a half a pint of Phish Food and the world does indeed makes sense again, HOWEVER a whole pint of Phish Food and the world becomes a very miserable place. I only share that because y'all know I am nothing but a servant of the people and their need for knowledge.

Anyway, back to my original question. Do you? I'll confess, I do. I'm not proud to admit that, but it's the truth. It's a silly truth considering all the times He's proven faithful to me. It's not a truth I expected to be sharing with the whole wide web. But sometimes the truth is hard to come by, and even harder to admit so I am trying to be as honest as possible. He is often easier for me to believe in at the worst of times but I often loose sight of Him in the small things, the little moments.

Recently, I wrote that I had to go to this thing at my church which was really hard for me because I had to meet a bunch of people. Well, I went to look for a new Homegroup. My church, being all new-fangled and what-not does Homegroup's instead of Sunday School classes. What I did not write about was that I went and have never felt more out of place and uncomfortable. What is meant to make people feel included and wanted made me feel the opposite. This absolutely has more to do with the fact that my psyche is in need of some sort of special case study than it has to do with the kind, sweet people at my church who were trying to do a nice thing. Anyway, at the end of that night I signed up for a homegroup, but was less than thrilled about the situation, and not entirely certain I believed God had really wanted me to be there. I may have even shed a tear or two over the whole thing.

Finally, two weeks ago I went to the homegroup I had signed up for and I was completely surprised. I really thought that God was leading me in a different direction, but I realize now I ended up right where He was leading me. Maybe this isn't the perfect group for me to be meeting with, but maybe there is no such thing as a perfect group. Perhaps, where God was leading me was to fellowship, time with fellow believers each week, to share what God's been doing and to open myself up to others and their lives.

So, while I couldn't imagine it at the time I'm starting to think He may really be in this thing. Of course, I believe in God, but maybe He truly is in every single moment, every decision, every perceived "happenstance". Simply in everything.

I have no pretty bow to tie this post up in. No witty punchline to end things. All I know to say is that I'm going to try harder in the future. That's all I know to do.

Onomatopoeia Television

Oh Spring Break, how I love thee. Let me count the ways:

1. I went to Sherman and celebrated my mom's birthday! It's always good to be home, but this time I really needed it. Although, I think her actual birthday may have been anti-climactic.

2. I worked three days. Three of the most beautiful days known to man. It was breathtakingly beautiful here in the Big TX. So, that means I made those kids stay outside for every possible moment and enjoy the weather. I think I got a little tan.

3. Haircut. Thank you Lord.

4. After three full (miserable) days of car shopping I now am driving a brand new car. She doesn't have a name yet, but I'm working on that. This will be its own blog post to come.

5. On Saturday I got to hang out with some of my favorite people.

My friend Sarah got married in December and returned home with her husband for the first time since the wedding. The Wards are two of my favorite people and we always have fun hanging out. Sarah and I have been friends since my first days at DBU and we are soul sisters and I dearly love her. When I met Justin I quickly realized that he and I are true kindred spirits. Together they comprise one of my favorite super couples. Always up for a good time, they agreed to meet Miranda and I for lunch. Four loafs of bread, a lot of laughter and a really bad, never-ending bit about onomatopoeias later, we were stuffed and I took them for a little spin in my new ride.

Then we decided to head over to Miranda's house where Katy Evans, who just got into town from North Carolina, met us!

And then, my heart very nearly exploded.

Plus, our friend Jessica came and we had the best time. I'm so lucky to have such good friends.

Saturday almost made up for the whole rest of Spring Break. It almost made up for no sleeping in and no clothes shopping (I think I've met my shopping quota for the year due to the car).

And now we're back to normal. No Saturdays in sight. Goodbye Spring Break, Hello Monday.

The Spring Break Cycle

Why is that the educational system always somehow manages to find the coldest, bleakest wettest week of the year and claim it as spring break?

This seems to be a consistent problem and so I believe it must be a magical gift that the scheduling people have been given to arrange for what should be a week of fun-filled frivolity to take place at the time that God pre-ordained for the heaven's to open up and drench the earth. Plenty of college-aged girls will tell you that their chances for doing something truly stupid that would, at the time have been drunkenly hilarious, were ruined. And all because of the rain and wind and whatnot. They were probably forced to go skiing instead of heading for the beach.

All of that being said, I have a long and beautiful history with spring break. As a child my family would usually spend a weekend at my granny's house in central Texas and then return home for four or five days of freedom. As I got older I began to crave five uninterrupted days of watching soap operas, and would spend my break thusly. Oh, the years wasted on Days of Our Lives. Let's not even go there. Spring break during the college days either meant loads of clean laundry and a week of glorious, non-cafeteria food or maybe if I was truly lucky a road trip to some exotic location such as College Station to get really crazy.

And now, despite the fact that it is 38 degrees and drizzling outside, I will spend this spring break visiting home for my mother's birthday and a car buying expedition, then baby-sitting a few days and practicing. Like I said... beautiful.

And so, the spring break tradition continues.

Phish Food

This has been an insane week. Completely insane.

On Monday I was sitting at a stop light when my car was rear-ended. So, obviously I have needed time to collect my thoughts in order to properly inform you about this incident. I have decided to give a small teaser today, but I have plans for a full-fledged blog post soon. All your wreck-related questions will be answered. But, for now, just know that I do have whiplash but I am feeling better each and every day. Unfortunately, my poor car, Lola, is not feeling so well and was totaled in the accident. There will be more on this to come, so you have something to look forward to....

Today I would like to tell you all about a great friend and confidante of mine. This friend has seen me through many great trials.
The last time a relationship ended? There for me.
The last time I failed miserably at something? There for me.
The last time I thought my world was coming to an end? There for me.
And now, when I am in pain?

There for me.

Half a pint of this and the world seems to make sense again. I'm not sure what it is about the caramel, marshmallow and chocolate fish combination, but it does something to me. To be perfectly honest I don't consider myself to be a Ben and Jerry's girl- I am a Blue Bell girl from way back when. So, I'm not even positive how I stumbled across Phish Food, but I know it has changed my life.

So, Thank you Ben and Jerry. But mostly, thank you Phish Food. From the bottom of my heart.