Friday, February 27, 2009

Shaking The Haters Off

Yesterday I was wandering the internet and I came across this article. Which discusses the drama surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow's new website.

In case you are too lazy to click over here's the synopsis: Gwyneth Paltrow has a new lifestyle website where she shares recipes, travel tips and just regular life advice but some people think it's silly that she'd have a lifestyle site because she's a celebrity and apparently it's beneath her to have a website. I'm not really positive what the complaint is honestly, but you get the picture.

When I first saw the article I had two basic reactions: the first was to quickly click over and check out the website, which I tried to do but I'm having trouble getting in. I feel like there's some sort of invisible bouncer that recognizes I'm not cool enough to be allowed inside the website. Maybe it somehow knows that my IP Address regularly visits online gaming sites such as mahjong and web sudoku in addition to the countless hours spent on facebook. So, I can't vouch for the greatness of the website yet, but you better believe I'll keep trying until I get in.

My second thought was this: when I first began my little blog here a lot of people were very upset too. I mean, when People magazine called me to ask for a response to all the criticism I was slightly surprised. But, I too responded just like Gwyneth, saying: "those who make fun of it just don't get it." Honestly, if this blog didn't exist where would you get all of the information you need for your daily life? How could you survive day to day without knowing proper etiquette for opera attenders or without the reminder to daily sing His praises for the invention of the DVR? Now, I'm not positive what Gwyneth is writing about on her blog, but when she isn't passing along wisdom given to her by the Dali Lama then I am pretty sure she's writing about her DVR.

And I just don't see how anyone could possibly complain about that.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

I have a dream for my life that I rarely share with people. I mean I do share it occasionally, but usually it's done in a joking manner, so I don't horribly embarrass myself. But the truth is that it's a goal I'm very serious about. My dream is to learn how to blow glass.

I've often said I would like to live among the Amish so that they could teach me, but there may be a few flaws with that plan since I'm not sure the Amish work on a foreign exchange policy where they just allow people to come in willy-nilly and learn their trades and whatnot, plus I'm also not positive that the Amish blow glass. Maybe the whole Amish thing is just a completely different goal. However, recently I started to seriously look for a place to take a glass blowing class.

I mean I googled and wikipediaed and everything.

So, I found a location not too far away from me that gives lessons once a week. Apparently you have to first learn how to make a paperweight and then you get clearance to learn glass blowing. I can not tell you how excited I was. I was about to achieve one of my lifelong dreams.

Do you sense a 'but' coming?

BUT, apparently achieving lifelong dreams comes at a cost. A hefty cost. For the first four lessons in paperweights I can achieve my dream for the low, low price of (drum roll please....)
$804.38 (including tax).

Needless to say, I'll have to work on my lifelong dream of having more than $138 in my bank account first.

So, the moral of the story is: your dreams will cost you. About $800 worth of pocket change.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Bohemian Life

Last night my friend Cortnee and I went to see the Dallas Opera's production of 'La Boheme'. I thought it was beautiful and such a fun experience. First of all, the opera was breathtaking and really well done. Second of all:

James Valenti. Gorgeous and can SING. 'Nuff said.

Going to the opera has a few really wonderful advantages: great music, gorgeous singing, men who look like James, and you are sure to have some fantastic stories from the evening. Such as last night, when the city of Dallas decided to celebrate Mardis Gras in a big way at Fair Park. Since the music hall and Fair Park share a parking lot it made the evening both miserable and entertaining. Let me just preface this by saying it was about 30 degrees outside last night and we parked about 8 miles away from the hall. This, combined with the fact that some were dressed for the opera others were dressed for a rockin' good time at Mardi Gras led to some interesting combinations. I'll let you use your imagination, but I just have to say that wearing booty shorts and cowboy boots is a bold choice any day of the week, but it takes a lotta courage to wear them on a sub-zero night outdoors.

Is courage the right word?

Anyway, after Cortnee and I crossed the frozen tundra of the parking lot we spent some time hanging out in the lobby doing some people watching, and then made our way to our seats. This is when the real fun began. We were lucky enough to be sitting directly behind a very young couple who were also very in love. VERY in love. Let's just pause here for me to give you a little lesson in opera etiquette: Usually when people attend the opera they are interested in a night of refinement and class and typically this does not include watching you stick your tongue down the throat of your significant other. Did I say opera etiquette? I meant LIFE etiquette. The kissing wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that they made the gross smacking sounds to go along with it. Luckily, after some barfing we managed to block the couple from our minds and enjoy the romance on stage.

I guess the moral of this story is that even if you think the opera is sure to be filled with nothing but drama and tragedy it can also be comedy gold. I promise.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I'm Not Getting Any Younger.... Or Am I?

Since I am a grown-up I often do grown-up things. I pay my bills, I check the weather, I have a plant that I remember to water every other week and I baby-sit. That's right, folks. I am a 25 year old baby-sitter. I do this for a few reasons:
1. It keeps me young.
2. I really love the family that I baby-sit for.
3. The money doesn't hurt.
4. When you have the chance to meet and spend extended time with two of the coolest Pakistani-American children (who, on a regular basis, rehearse scenes from High School Musical- complete with microphones and AMAZING dance moves plus singing) you move heaven and earth to hang out with them.
So, when I went over to their casa last night I figured we would play a little Wii, maybe watch some Disney and inevitably be treated to some stellar singing and dancing; what I did not expect was a quarter-life crisis. I was talking with the kids when Omar said:
"Miss Crystal? How old are you?"

"It's not polite to ask a lady her age."

The twins quickly decide to begin a guessing game involving my age, always fun for everyone, right? Here is the exact transcription of the rest of that conversation:

"Are you 36?"

Honestly, it was just like taking a bullet. I answered that "No, I am not 36." To which the reply was:
"Are you 14?"

So, I probably shouldn't take this whole thing too personally.
But, I definitely will.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lost, Indeed

Every Wednesday evening I get home from class just in time to turn on my tv and watch "Lost". Some might say this is a bold move for a girl who hasn't really kept up with, oh, I don't know, the last four or five seasons. Luckily, I don't let the little things get me down. I'll watch the show that has enough random characters to fill a small army (not to mention all the time traveling) if I wanna. So what if I don't know who the person is that's talking, or where / when they are. An episode of "Lost" will typically end in a confused call or text to my friend Miranda who inevitably clears up any questions I have or directs me to the 'Lostpedia'. The show should probably come with some disclaimer that says 'two parts entertainment, one part brain teaser'. However, I really can't fathom giving up on it all. I feel like I'll be missing out on something important, like- in college when I couldn't go to my room and sleep (even if I had just pulled an all-nighter) because I couldn't bear the thought that I might miss something funny or important. Nope, instead, I will suffer through, without DVR, mind you.

On the subject of DVR, can I just be honest and say that I truly believe God planted the idea and technology of the DVR into the brain of man for me and me alone. I feel like God really knew my heart and wanted to give me the gift of the DVR as a testament of His love for me. The only problem with this is that I don't currently have a DVR at my apartment and I believe I am more bitter because I know how life changing it can be. The hardest part is that sometimes I forget that I do not have the handy fast-forward button, so I try and make my remote control skip stuff but then I remember and I get stuck watching commercials. It is a hard pill to swallow, my friends.

So, if you hear a loud sound next Wednesday night around nine, it is probably the sound of my poor, confused brain exploding. Or, at the very least, tears over my inability to teleport myself forward in time to the day that I have a DVR.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Because I'm A Woman Of My Word....

Let's just be honest. This weekend was Valentine's Day and I am a single lady. Typically, this- combined with the fact that I had no plans would culminate in what I like to call "the perfect storm". However, God took pity on me this year and reminded me of all the love I do have in my life. I am blessed beyond measure by truly deep and meaningful friendships, as well as a great family whose love is never ending. Plus, armed with Beyonce's hit song "Single Ladies" I was ready to face down my Valentine's Day demons (I promise that I am just being dramatic- I don't have any demons. I swear).
Anyway, I managed to keep busy this weekend because my AMAZING friend Miranda invited me over to her casa to hang out on VDay (Shout out Miranda!). We had a ton of fun hanging out with Mir's crew from her Single's Group. As always, the highlight of our time together was eating and laughing together. One of the reason's I love Miranda so much is that when she starts to giggle she quickly gets carried away and can't stop- which is really infectious. It's the best. Anyway, I told her I would send her a little online holler and so, here it is!
Now I am off to finish my laundry and a little work for tomorrow, wish me luck.


P.S. If anyone reads this blog they should say a little prayer for me Monday evening because I'm going to this thing at my church and I'm going to have to meet a lot of new people and not be shy and I am a little nervous about it. Eek! Thanks.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Performance Anxiety

To say that I am a little nervous about writing my first post might be the understatement of the year. I would have started this blog two weeks ago, but unfortunately choosing a name for my blog was the on-line equivalent of 'Sophie's Choice'. Hopefully, that is not indicative of my future here. Most likely, I will write two posts, realize only three people ever read my blog and then quit.
I decided to start blogging because I have become somewhat addicted to reading the blogs of complete strangers, and after I bullied my buddy Katy into blogging, I felt as though I should start my own blog. I figure the world wide web is really in need of more pointless information and I have always been burdened to give the people what they want.
I teach private voice lessons and am in grad school studying vocal pedagogy and performance (big words to describe a life of little money and no health care benefits). The fact that I am getting my master's truly astounds me, as I am sure it does to almost every professor and friend I had from the ages of 18-20. I loved college, or as I refer to them "the glory days". I'm a member of the Dallas Baptist University Class of '06. Actually, I technically graduated in '07, but that's only because I skillfully managed to cram four years of college into five.
Maybe in the future I can add some hilarious stories into the mix. But I think I've exhausted myself already today. It probably does not bode well for my blogging future that one little post does me in.